I. HELL’S KITCHEN
she loves Cooking all Fancy, just like the chefs on TV. Doing Tricks with the Knife and stuff, cutting a Whole Onion in just Three Slices, and Boom it’s the most Perfectly cut onion you’ve Ever Seen in your Entire life. no Seriously. you Ever see the Food Network? she’ll be on there Some day, just Watch. remember her Name.
the neighbor Is burning his Trash again in a Big fire. it might Not be his Trash but he sure is burning Something. he’s Got a couple Guys standing around Throwing in big pieces of Something one by one. who Knows what he’s burning But the smoke is Coming in through the windows a Little bit and combined With the smell of her Cooking the scent in Here is Real Specific.
she says Pass me a potato or two. one or Two, baby? she says one Big one or Two Small ones. they all Look medium sized to Me, baby. two then. you Can never have too much Potato.
she keeps the Potatoes right next to the Rat poison because she Lives her Life on the Edge. life’s a Gamble, baby. Life’s a gamble. now pass me That salt.
II. A REAL NASTY SIGHT
he felt Real Smart when he hung up all those Wasp traps. the Green ones, basically just a Piece of plastic with sticky Glue all over Them. he showed his wife. 2 for $4.99 on Amazon. the wasps Like green, just like Humans don’t they babe? his wife said i guess They do. i hope they Stop stinging now. they can’t Sting when They’re Dead, babe. his wife said that’s the Difference between Wasps and humans. thats true, baby. That’s Very Very true, my Little Poet.
the next Day he checked the First trap. he caught at least 30 wasps. that’s a Lot of wasps for just one Day. on the second Trap there were some Wasps for sure, but Also there was a Hummingbird stuck on there. this is a Disaster. he had to Hide this before his wife Saw. she’d start Crying, and he hated Seeing any pretty Girl cry, but most Especially his wife. plus she did Tell him to use the Bird guard (the little green plastic Cage that the Traps came with to prevent this Type of thing from happening, which the Manufacturer invented after Receiving too many Negative Reviews on the subject of Birds getting Caught in the traps, a situation That is a lose-lose for Everyone involved), but he read in the Amazon comment section that the Bird Guard keeps the wasps away too so that if you Put that bird guard on you might as well Throw that whole thing in the garbage. the Hummingbird was fluttering all around. It’s wing was Slowly tearing from its Body. this was a Real Nasty Sight. Hummingbirds are Such a small type of Bird. when it was In his palm it barely Felt like a bird at all, maybe more like a Soft Rock. he Rubbed the Hummingbird’s cheek and snapped its Neck.
his wife Called out the window. how do the traps Look? terrible, babe. the things are Pieces of junk. i’ll Have to pick up some Wasp Spray. he Snuck the Second trap (with the dead Hummingbird on it) into the trashcan in the Garage. the hummingbird Lay dead peacefully on a pile of Rotten meat that had gone Bad when the power went Out and the Fridge got Too Hot.
III. LIGHTS OUT BY NINE
the power Went out in the Storm for the third time this Summer. i Ain’t never seen a storm like that. that’s what the Neighbor said. but she’s always Saying all sorts of Crazy Stuff. we Went to the hardware store to Try to buy a Generator in case the power Goes out for the Fourth time this Summer. sorry, Buddy. all Sold out. Probably not getting Any new ones until the Fall. you know how it Is. i sure Do. we Drove back to the Hot, dark house. it was a Long drive for nothing. the sun Was Almost Down and the frogs were Starting to speak. to the Right of Us the clouds hung Low on the River reluctantly, like a Child’s hand that was grasping Too Many Balloons.
IV. “I’VE NEVER SEEN SUMMER LIKE THE SUMMER THIS TIME”
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